april 2002

click here for permalink April 26, 2002

I knew that Michael Douglas' guest appearance on last night's "Will & Grace" would be disturbing, even a little nauseating... hmmm... I think that's all I have to say about that.

Now that they know just how cool we really are with it, there's no shortage of gay-friendly celebrities eager to play the part — or go public about living the part — on shows like "Will & Grace." Oh, wait... I guess it's just on "Will & Grace."

But it's a damn good start... remember when we used to watch Xena for the "sub text?" Enduring an hour of high-pitched shrieks and pre-WWF fight choreography in hopes of catching a second of bedroll-sharing? Or a rerun of that episode where they take a bath together? Yeah... good times.

Now that the cat's out of the bag re: Rosie — and our morbid curiosity has been piqued re: Michael — it's your turn! Behold, the "How Gay Are You?" quiz! Courtesy of a friend who just barely passes for 'a tad curious' with 40%. Thanks, sweetie!

As we slowly inch towards a weekend that starts with a full moon (in Scorpio), astrologers are predicting three days of intense emotional outbursts, bizarre revelations from the police blotter and some of the best sex you'll ever have. So be careful out there!

(Really. That's what they're predicting.)

click here for permalink April 21, 2002

In the past two years, I can think of only a handful of times when we've gone into a weekend with any type of scheduled activity on the books, aside from biannual family dinners and the "party holidays."

On Halloween and New Years Eve, sheer numbers dictate that you must have a game plan if you expect to spend the evening dancing or drinking instead of seething and shivering en masse out front of your over booked club of choice. And so the game of venue roulette ensues; parking spots are scarce and the lines out front are turning into surly, slovenly mobs as temperatures drop and tensions mount. Planning ahead is the only way to guarantee that you won't spend your entire night alternately driving and waiting.

But that leaves 50 weekends, give or take a few, that we enter pure and unencumbered, with no plan but to wait for the call from a member of our extroverted entourage, who will already have plotted our next move. This weekend, it was not one but two groups of friends demanding our attendance at Saturday night's main event, an engagement with true East Coast DJ royalty, David Morales.

Trying to shake off the funereal mood that had been clinging to me all week, and a bad choice in dancing shoes, I managed to pull a last-minute 180; with only an hour left, I joined the ranks of the vibrantly alive, hopping and thrashing and twisting to the rise and fall of a decidedly east coast beat. We hung on the DJs every intonation until he had wrung the second-to-last ounce of energy from each and every enthralled, ecstatic soul on the dance floor.

The after party — and the after-after party — yielded an unexpected bonus; a pair of rather stylish, yet infectiously Jay and Silent Bob-esque, characters who were too entertaining to leave behind when we finally headed home for breakfast. The two became three when a roommate resurfaced later on and our living room became a camp fire circle on the last night of summer, ablaze with the din of testosterone-driven revelry and sincere yet demented insta-bonding between similar souls, all set to a blaring soundtrack of trance remixes and Tool songs.

Hey, check me out... I always liked Curious George, if somewhat conditionally; it's really not much fun unless it's being read aloud by my friend Juliana who identifies with CG in some of the funniest, and frighteningest, ways.

Which children's storybook character are you?
this quiz was made by colleen

click here for permalink April 20, 2002

Maybe I've been watching the American channels too much lately (I'm sorry — KTLA late night kicks ass), but I keep seeing these message-y, montage-y, meaningfully multicultural ads...

You know the ones; where all the regular Americans are going about their daily lives, all fuzzy and overlapping in that late 90's "chaotic focus"... and you have a few extreme close-ups of a few average people — each with an accent and I don't mean like "Dubya's" — and they all solemnly begin with the words, "I will fight terrorism by..."

...and then they make these sincere statements about which of their daily activities they're committed to doing — you know, to fight terrorism — like, "going to my cousin's wedding" and "staying in touch with everyone on my Buddy List" and "cleaning the deep fryer after every shift."

You get the idea. Basically, they're all feel-good, rainbow-connection patriotism on the outside and desperate, cutthroat capitalism on the inside. (Mmm, just like Pop Tarts!)

Thing is, in my head, the commercial doesn't stop there; the voices drone on long after the kid-on-a-tricycle final frame fades into the next Fly United ad...

"I will fight terrorism by paying full retail for music and software!" ... "I will fight terrorism by making my student loan payment on time!" ... "I will fight terrorism by waiting in line for "The Scorpion King!" ... "I will fight terrorism by submitting to the post-metal detector pat-down with a smile!" ... "I will fight terrorism by taking a little time to enjoy The View!" ... "I will fight terrorism by fighting the seven signs of aging!" ... "I will fight terrorism by Super-sizing it!" ... "I will fight terrorism by agreeing to buy six more CDs at regular Club price!" ... "I will fight terrorism by knowing that my neighbors are friendly, even when they're firing!"

But I guess that's the price I pay for watching "Rebel Without A Cause" at 3am.

click here for permalink April 13, 2002

I'm going to do a little metaphorical grande sissonne over the storyline — in deference to all of you who aren't in it — and skip ahead to the credits and dedication...

I'll be brief, mostly because I am far too full of reality to come up with anything clever to say (I know, how unlike me!).

And so, this is from all of us; waving from the shore, thanking you for twenty years "next to godliness." We love you — and miss you — and we'll see you next time.


click here for permalink April 8, 2002

Nooooooo!!! I just took the Which Trading Spaces Cast Member Are You quiz and, despite my concerted efforts to avoid it, ended up being the one person I can't stand! Oh, the humiliation!

But even though I scored so poorly as to be ashamed to share my results with my readership, my joy at finding such a kick-ass quiz (thanks, Alice) isn't so easily diminished. Go forth, my children, and find out who you are.

What else have I been up to..? I've read some great movie spoilers lately... "Panic Room," for one, is a great movie... you should totally go see it. Heh. I've been borrowing huge stacks of books from the library... at this point, my limit is something astronomical like 30 or so at a time, so it's kind of an "all you can carry" proposition. With giant coffee table books on decorating I guess that isn't very many, but it's enough to make my apartment look like a small library.

Which is, in part, why I'm borrowing all the decorating books in the first place. I am convinced that there is a perfect layout to be achieved that will make my one bedroom home/office/studio/tanning salon appear suddenly spacious and airy whilst preserving my many hidden collections of crap in perfectly concealed-yet-accessible storage spaces.

I believe that if I rearrange all my things often enough, recycling boxes, baskets and bins to maximize the efficiency of each compartmentalized area, a minimalist sensibility will somehow be distilled from all this conspicuous consumption.

Also, I just like looking at decorating books.